The experience of working on “Ennobled,” the 5th canvas in the Portals of Joy series, was a bit like maneuvering a boulder up an incline. All the while, I was able to experience these challenges with confidence and determination. It became an excellent exercise in creating and recreating, making changes, letting go and moving on.

I began the painting with a color palette that I found attractive but, it just wasn’t quite me. Once on the canvas it seemed goofy, like a Halloween candy wrapper. So I kept altering colors, one at a time, and adding textured papers to cover up some of the colors and create new ones. I found the process enjoyable, without frustration. I was able to draw on my confidence that each alteration would bring me closer to feeling as if I had made it my own. What a time consuming process it was! If I hadn’t been as focused on the unfolding experience of the process, I would not have been able to remain in the joy of creating.

Occasionally, a painting doesn’t flow as smoothly. Each time I find myself in that space, I have the gift of letting go and immersing myself in the painting process. I allow it to take as long as it takes, with no expectations and the willingness to continue to apply layer over layer, repainting areas one moment at a time. And with each alteration, I come closer to an image that will look back at me and say, “Ahhh… this is it.”

Once I had completed “Ennobled", I shifted my focus to the newly started 6th painting in the Portals of Joy series, titled “Integral Flow.” The experience of painting this one was nothing like the last one. The process flowed easily from beginning to end. Of course, I chose a color palette I was comfortable with from the start. And maybe that attributed to the feeling of lightness that surrounded the painting process.

I experienced joy as I created both of these two paintings but that experience was so very different… neither better than the other. And I am grateful for the wonderful diversity of both.

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