Experiencing Joy in the Unknown

For the past year, I have been in one of those special places as an artist. I’m referring to the experience of beginning something totally new and not knowing where it will lead. It’s very much like the beginning stages of falling in love and just getting to know one another. Every moment is special and you don’t know how the future will unfold but you are immersed in the delight and energy of what the relationship is right now.  

I have been in a state of wonder as I’ve explored a new process and a new way of working. It’s been exhilarating and something I’ve wanted to keep mostly private, with very little sharing, as I develop and settle into this creative flow without rushing it at all. 

And in the process of discovery, questions arise: Will any of the past creative methods overlap with the new? Is it possible for this joyful flow to end up as a short lived series or something so much more? Will this be shared more widely or will my artistic love affair remain a gift for me alone?

This is what I know: I don’t need to have any of the answers. The joy is in the process of the creative unfolding, and I have no need to rush it. It’s a journey to be present each step along this path of discovery. I’m interested in the process as it develops, not the results. Much of my delight is in the wonder of where it will take me and where I will take it. And most importantly, I’m in love with the exploration of the Creative Adventure I have found myself on.

One of the joys of creating art is to get an idea or concept and to bring it to life… to make something that was just a thought and breathe it into existence.

2021 Reflections

Cropped images from the concertina sketchbook pages

As I write this, the new year is just hours away. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been reflecting on all that happened (and didn’t happen) in 2021… and considering potential plans and intentions for 2022.

Simplicity pages with ink, papers, cloth, and acrylic on paper.

Last year, I entered 2021 with several ideas for the creative projects I was excited to delve into. 2020 had felt like a slow, never ending experience. And although I had lots to show for it, after spending an abundance of time immersed in exploration, I longed to get back to “my artwork” and the materials and paintings that fed my soul. I had an idea of what that looked like and what that meant. What I didn’t anticipate was another year of exploration and a concertina sketchbook experience that would change the trajectory of my year in art.

I may set artistic intentions, but I learned long ago that my greatest intention is to go with the natural flow of my creative spirit. I know that one artistic adventure leads to the next and they each become stepping stones to all that’s created in the future. Allowing that flow is probably at the foundation of all of my work. It’s like being carried forward with limited vision of where I am headed but also infused with ideas and imagination. The most important place to be is in the here and now, fully immersed in the painting project of the moment… because what I’m doing now is a building block for what will emerge next… and next… and next.

Cropped images of the Elements series.

So, the process of exploring the pages of the concertina sketchbook project carried me into a whole new world of exploration. And although I will enter 2022 with a list of potential painting projects, I am excited to see where the creative flow will lead and what will unfold within the next 12 months in the studio.

Wishing you a Happy New Year
and a fabulous
life adventure that
unfolds in beautiful ways
for you in the coming year.

You may also be interested in:
Concertina Sketchbook Project
Inspired by Concertina Sketchbook Pages
Inspired by Concertina Sketchbook Pages - Part 2
Series of Transition

Inspired by Concertina Sketchbook Pages - Part 2

Concertina Sketchbook Pages

In art as in life, each step I take leads to the next. The Concertina Sketchbook course I took led to a series of artworks on paper and on canvas. Then the process I used to create the first layer of a few of the canvas paintings inspired the concertina sketchbook I’m sharing here today.

Concertina Sketchbook Pages

I had fun filling the pages of this small concertina with ink drips, collaged circles, sheet music, raw canvas and dress pattern paper. Although I originally thought I might add some acrylic paint, I decided to leave the pages with a more minimalist look. So, no paint. I did decide to add some asemic pencil writing in just a couple of places. The pencil was chosen to avoid the permanence of a pen. I ended up so happy with the gentle softness of the pencil marks and how they added to those pages.

Now, I want to create more like what I have here and find a way of merging this concept with a new series I’ve had planned.

You may also be interested in:
Inspired by Concertina Sketchbook Pages
Concertina Sketchbook Pages

Concertina Sketchbook Pages

Work in Progress, the inspiration (on canvas) for this Concertina Sketchbook

Concertina Sketchbook Project

Back in February, I began a 6 week course with Karen Stamper on developing a concertina sketchbook. It was a journey of discovery, stretching my comfort at many points along the way, as I became immersed in a process and flow that was new to me.

At first, we filled the pages with marks, using pencils, inks, charcoal, pens and more. I so enjoyed playing with the ink, particularly when blowing on wet ink to create meandering lines. In the process of adding collage elements, I felt like I was able to start making the pages my own, especially when adding the cut circles.

Just beginning to add color. Surrounded by materials on the large work table.

The studio has never been as messy as it was during that project. The table was covered with every mark making tool I own. The floor was covered with the vast array of papers and collage possibilities… photos, magazines, maps, dress patterns, sheet music pages, and bags of the art papers collected over the years. I even found the texture boards and alternative brushes I had made years ago for my daughter’s elementary school class. I used the one with feathers to drag wispy lines of ink across the pages.

Then it came time to paint the marked up pages. Yay!! But before I began to paint, I searched for hidden compositions with my handy dandy cropping tool... an old mat, cut at the corner.

Adding the finishing touches to the first pages.

Once I realized I had been treating these sketchbook pages as if they were too precious, I chose a section, took a deep breath, and I was able to enjoy adding paint. I let go of the preciousness and got comfortable developing areas, redoing others, and covering up full sections. Some pages became pretty busy with additional collage elements and paint, while others were left fairly simple.

Since completing the concertina sketchbook, I’ve been continuing to play with the images, processes, and ideas that took shape on those pages, in order to get more out of this experience before moving on. Although it feels as if I’ve been on an adventure, traveling far from my way of working, I’ve had the opportunity to grow and expand my choices in the future. As I prepare to explore the new work that’s now tugging on my sleeve, I’m curious to see how the concertina sketchbook will end up influence my creative flow moving forward.

Cropped images from the completed pages for future inspiration.

You may also be interested in:
Re-Words Concertina
Concertina Sketchbooks

On Letting Go

The concept of letting go has been in the forefront of my mind since this year began. Letting go is a process. It is likely to take place in stages rather than all at once. And it is up to us to allow or invite the process to work through us.

Doors to new experiences and discoveries can more easily open when we let go of expectations, ideas, or the replaying of our personal stories. We may find that our way of being in the world has been altered. Letting go is our way of releasing tightly held beliefs, goals, or even the hands of a loved one.

Years ago, I often visualized the letting go process based on my experiences sitting and meditating at the Esopus Creek, in Mt. Tremper, New York. I would envision myself laying in a narrow stream, holding onto a rock or log, trying to fight against the current. In doing so, all of the leaves, twigs, and debris being carried down the stream would build up against me. This added to my struggle as the increase in weight intensified my burden. But… By no longer fighting the current, I could float down the stream with ease, experiencing greater peace.

My Recent Experiences:
This year seems to be a year of letting go. On January 1st, I let go of my Dad, and the ability to ever hold his hand again. On January 8th, I watched my Mom slip away from life to join him. Throughout January, I let go of my goals and plans for the month to allow myself to begin the grieving process and be whatever I needed to be in each moment. In February, I let go of my creative expectations and embraced new ideas, changes in color palette, and a new approach to my paintings. In March, I had to let go of my parent’s belongings as I went through their home, packing their stuff to giveaway or donate. I shipped a small selection from New York to California and had to dig deep to let go when some of those things arrived damaged or destroyed.

All of this letting go, seems to be leading to new perspectives. And I must say, I am ready for these changes. I feel like I’m one of those spring blossoms about to burst open.

Now, in April, I have let go of the artwork I am accustomed to in order to create new artistic experiences. I plan to share much of this creative journey as it unfolds. In fact, since April 1st, I’ve been posting pieces of a new mini series on Instagram and on my Facebook artist page. I will also be sharing more, right here, in future blog-posts.

Managing Grief after Losing My Parents:
I am letting go of their physical presence in my life, but the rich memories, love, and growth that I experienced throughout the years remain very much alive within me. That’s what I will carry with me in each moment moving forward. I know that I am who I am because of their presence in my life.

Holding my Mom’s hand just hours before she died.

So each day, I let go of holding onto them. I let go of any need to perpetuate the grief, instead allowing the ebb and flow of emotions as they arise. (They definitely arise!) And regardless of any grief I will experience over the coming weeks, months, and years, I want to let them be fully present in whatever realm their spirits now reside. In turn, I allow myself to move into a new world of experiences, with curiosity in how the empty spaces created by their vacancy will be filled. I openly invite the changes that continue to take place.